July 20, 2015
‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” ― Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit

She sits and observes those around her, hearing them, feeling them; attempting to decipher who they are, only to become thoroughly confused.  What they are saying is not the energy they are emitting…there is discord within; they are presenting a facade.   It was a long road to finally understand her gift, her power for seeing beyond the “wool” to the “real”.   It took her years to figure out that most people have a veneer, that they present who they think you think they are; they are not authentic.  At first she took offense, as if their dissonance was because of who she was, as being real is often mistaken for brash, brazen; uncouth.  It was not until she was asked to display a front “because of what others might think” that she understood; be what you think is expected of you, not who you are.

She attempted to participate, choosing the most beautiful mask and being what she thought everyone wanted her to be.  She could not abide by those rules, the masquerade ball was nothing but a mire of contradictions that left her with unfulfilled expectations, for she was under the impression that you do what you say, if it comes from behind a mask or not; she was wrong.

No one man can, for any considerable time, wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which is the true one. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

She does not have many friends, as she tires of trying to work though the smoke and mirrors, she tires of not being taken at her word; she tires of hearing one thing and feeling another…the pretense makes her sick to her stomach.  She tires of tip toeing around fragile people, tires of stroking false egos, tires of digging for their truth when they themselves do not even remember what it is.  She now can see through the masks so chooses not to participate, chooses to call out some and leave others to wear their disguise.  She does not fear walking the path, to show her face in its originality, her soul in its ancientness; to revel in the ease of allowing herself to “become”.


photo credit: Lady Vic

Brilliant Disguise

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  • Reply Afrika Bohemian July 21, 2015 at 9:03 pm

    This really speaks to me…I love the quote “it all doesn’t happen at once.” I have been gowing through this process of trying to find my aithentic self and it has been a long and painful process, it is funny that today in meditation I was made aware of my many inauthenticities, it hurts a lot because most of the time its unconcious, you have become the mask and the veneer, what is real and what is not becomes confusing. You ae right too, you do loose a lot of friends, because you get tired, both of your own and other people’s un-realness. I love that it says when you are real you become shabby but you only become ugly to those who do not understand…I feel shabby now, raw and naked from the morning meditation but your writing gives me hope, I really long to live like that, naked, shabby and real…thank you

    • Reply K. K. July 22, 2015 at 7:24 am

      Thank you for sharing this with me, I too love the quote…to feel raw is to feel vulnerable and I think that is another reason many people are not “real”. But the only way the universe can give you your true hearts desire is to open yourself up to it. It is a process as it says…

    Would love to hear what you think!!!

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