I have lost a lot of time, yes, me, not “she” this time. I do believe that “she” is who helps me get a lot of old and new unresolved, revealing, musings out of my system. Today, however, I am me because, while “she” can spend her time delving into what has made her her, who she has loved, how she has hurt, how she has grown, doing the poetic things that dreamers often do, today is a time for action instead of reflection.
Today is the first day where I take control of my own life, release the anger and hurt, embrace the joy. I will no longer look at the clock and think to all that has been lost, avoid doing what I love because of denigrating words spoken decades ago; live for anyone but me. I will look at that clock and rejoice in the fact that I’ve got it. The truth came to me, rattled my brain, shook me to the core; woke me the fuck up. I am whoever I choose to be and no one has any power over me any longer.
So here we go, loving life without fear, “she” will continue to muse as I enjoy working with her, I will begin to write more about science, nature; all the things that I have loved but have not had the sureness to fully embrace. I have the time.
To those of you who have been gracious enough to read my blog, thank you! I hope that you will continue to come with me on this journey, to get to know me, read more musings from “her”, some rants from me; persist in your own writings that I have come to enjoy. I look forward to the dialogue that is to come as a result from everyone expressing what they feel, live, and love.
Photo credit gothick_matt