“Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world”-Jim Carrey
She finds herself staring at the wall, wondering if anyone out there is listening, if this is all just a futile attempt. Is her intent to really follow her calling, or is she looking for validation? Insecurities have run rampant in her, the result of receiving cruel words and deeds that consumed her childhood. She has fought her entire life to rid herself of such anxieties. She longs not just to bury feelings that don’t serve her purpose, but to rid them of her psyche completely. To identify them as they creep up, long before they put a road block in her path.
There are days she flies through, high above the uncertainties that once plagued her, but sometimes she lands with a resounding thud, back down into self-doubt. She works hard to forge ahead, to do what her calling is without any trepidation, encouraging the feelings of determination to power over fear. She fights for tenaciousness to win out over apprehension. She battles to let go of the need for approval. It is a work in progress, one in which she must remain vigilant.
She reads, she talks, and she exercises her mind and her body to become strong; to build a breathing wall so that none of the toxic waste can reach her but all the marvelous energy can; energy that feeds her nothing but sustenance of self-peace. She sweeps the clutter from her mind; clearing the litter that can keep her from hearing. Slowly she begins to let the requirement for praise slip away, almost as soon as it emerges. She begins to listen.
“Just go” she tells herself, “listen intently to what the universe is telling you to do and just go!” “Who gives a flying f**k what anyone else thinks…JUST LISTEN AND JUST GO.”