…It has been some time since I wrote anything, my mind has been busy, cluttered; attending to the needs of others whilst forgetting my own…
The summer was full of cleaning, sorting, trying to figure out how to mitigate my daughters newly diagnosed allergy to dust mites and her mild asthma. I do not keep a dirty house, but was suddenly over come by the need to clean as to avoid filling her full of medicine. So I cleaned. But my brain was still cluttered and the calm was nowhere to be found. I threw myself into work, to take care of the mistakes and miscues of others as they seemed to forget they had a job to do while consumed with their own personal dramas.
I thought to myself…”Is this what I am to do for the rest of my life, pick up after everyone else?” When do I get to open up? I struggled for months with it…Until recently.
Enough, enough of feeling less than adequate, enough of picking up after others, enough of fixing the problems not of my own making. Enough of not having time. I have had enough of listening to the whining of those that think they have it rough when in reality, it’s all good…including myself. I discovered that I am in the unique position to create my own future. I have written about it, the struggle to find self, my own sense, my purpose…my calm.
So lets back up…I have not written for a while, the summer was very busy, as I had the fortune to be able to help people who needed it. Yes, I had to put myself aside for quite some time. But as I sit here doing this WordPress exercise of writing for 20 minutes then posting it (scary)… I have realized that this was a summer of discovery. I discovered problems, but I found the solutions too, and most importantly…the long awaited calm.
Photo credit: K.K.
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