I always thought I was destined for something big, like the next great discovery of something in the world of science and nature. I wanted to work in savanna of Africa fighting off poachers, traverse the ocean saving the whales, or be the next Jane Goodall. As I have written before, a lack of confidence in myself kept me from accomplishing a lot of things, and that self-doubt was not something I was born with…it was taught.
I have aged and I no longer suffer from a need to prove myself to anyone; I am self-assured. I have been out doing my small part to ensure the survival of an endangered bird and I have opportunity presenting itself due to a putting my desires all out to the universe. I could go off and work for those that do the great things, support them behind the scenes, learn, participate in all that I always wanted…yet I hesitate.
I want to make a difference in the world, help people love nature, to want to protect it instead of destroying it; to understand that we ARE nature. I could do that while you play in the school yard or come home to a babysitter. I could do that while you wait for me to have free time to go to the beach. I could do that while you sit in front of the screen because I am too tired to go play.
I hear you my dear one, and I agree.
I have thought long and hard about this, people do not save what they do not live in every day or what they do not love. How can you have a love for this world if I do not let you experience it? I will not let you grow up thinking nature is what took me away from you, when you are the epitome of the nature I love. Those people out there doing great things in science do not need me, they will, however, need the future generation to love, respect and feel the connection to all things organic. The deeper understanding of what nature really is will be found in your lifetime, not mine, but perhaps I can lend a hand.
Our destiny changes as perspective into what is important changes and the universe adapts to our ever evolving desires. No, I am never going to be that famous scientist, but, that is not my dream any more…
Photo credit: A friend