February 18, 2016

Lately I’ve been feeling a bit lost.  Life has a way of getting away from me, you know the feeling, you wake up one day and find that two weeks have passed in the blink of an eye.  You are just doing your day to day thing without stopping to watch the sunset, stopping to savor your dinner, or simply relaxing and letting the events of the day organize themselves in your brain.  I have a quagmire in my gray matter that I must now navigate through and organize, like the maze of mangled dead wood, what is worth keeping and what is worth letting go?

I love to write, love to laugh, love to read, love to sit in the sun, and have grown to love taking pictures, but I have been remiss in doing any of the above for quite some time and my spirit is growing tired and drained.  How, in the busy world of work, month long house guests, family, and life, do you find time alone to recharge?  Over the years I have read many articles on that subject, the “take time for yourself”, “you can’t be good for your family if you are not good to yourself”, the proverbial “self-help”, and I think all of these writers must have help to manage it all, either that or I am sorely inadequate at this whole thing.

I miss the time that would allow me to let my emotions flow into thoughtful prose, that time alone where words flow from my heart to the key board.  The only word that flows right now is “depleted”.  I am running on empty as it seems that everything and everyone around me I am allowing to drain me of what is mine.  In order to block such events takes energy and a keen sense of what to block so as not to totally cut myself off from that which feeds me.  I have lost the ability in the quagmire somewhere.  I have lost my calm.

I took this picture while out doing field work, which concluded right before the holidays.  I miss that time, all alone out in nature; that space where the great spirits could feed my soul and allow me to stay in tune with myself.

I swore I would never blog a throw-up of my feelings, but I guess, just for today, I need to put it out to the cyber universe so that perhaps tomorrow I can slow down and feel the grass grow.

So, for any of you out there that may feel the same, comment away, get it out of your system, so that in the coming days, we can get back to what life should be…living, not just existing.

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  • Reply Naomi Baltuck February 26, 2016 at 9:02 am

    Springtime is coming!

    • Reply K. K. February 26, 2016 at 10:37 am

      Yes it is!

  • Reply Afrika Bohemian February 23, 2016 at 5:52 am

    Thanks for this, I have really been neglecting my meditation and running all over the place, I had the past two days exhausted myself to a state of immobility and I felt like such a fraudster yoga teacher telling everybody to relax and take time out whilst I wasn’t following my own advice. Thanks for this post and for giving me permission to “throw up my feelings” I do feel a bit better. But as a note to self I will at least take ten minutes for meditation, I owe myself that much 🙂

    • Reply K. K. February 23, 2016 at 8:38 pm

      Yes, it is easy to get caught up in things and not slow down to enjoy and just breathe. I’m getting better myself this week, still having a a hard time with a few things but am trying to take more moments during this busy period in my life. We all owe it to ourselves to throw it all up and take time to feed our own souls! Good on you!!

  • Reply folksypanda February 18, 2016 at 11:26 pm

    Hi there, had to check your post after your comment on my blog. Isn’t it funny (or sad) that both of us wrote such similar posts on the same day? I hope today treats you better!

    • Reply K. K. February 19, 2016 at 9:10 am

      Yes it is! Maybe there is something in the air! I hope you have a great day today as well!!

  • Reply badfish February 18, 2016 at 6:24 pm

    “Running on empty.” Been there, done that. But you know…there IS a gas station just ahead, ALWAYS. Take your foot off the acclerator just a tad, breathe, and keep on trucking!

    • Reply K. K. February 19, 2016 at 9:15 am

      Ok! Thanks for the advice…your words really helped me calm myself last night. I am slowing down a bit, regaining control, and keeping my eye out for that station!

    Would love to hear what you think!!!

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